Santa Baby

Christmas has come and gone. My family (mom, dad, and brother) came to Lancaster for the holiday. While there was no snow it was seasonably cold, especially for a group of Californians. Jack had a fabulous time with his grandparents and uncle. He spent a lot of time laughing while Uncle Wolphie said, "Mr. Peanut" in Spanish. There were lots of lights, Christmas trees, and shiny ornaments that were mesmorizing. But best of all, as far as Jack was concerned, was the fact that he was never once set down. Mimi and G'Pa carried and cuddled and bounced him from morning to night. (Of course, Dan and I are paying for this now as he has decided that it is much better to be carried and lets us know of his displeasure, loudly, whenever he gets set down!) The day itself began with Dan making a delicious breakfast (baked apple-cranberry pancake, orange cranberry yogurt, and bacon), then we moved on to stockings and presents. I feel slightly like a bad mom to admit that we actually didn't get Jack any presents this year. We had 2 new rattles in his stocking, but not a single thing under the tree from us. I'm sure that when he reads this in the coming years I will be made to feel guilty or held responsible for gross neglect. I will then be forced to point out that at that stage in his life (4 months) we had already spent several thousand dollars on him, lost countless hours of sleep, and devoted every waking moment catering to his every need. I guess we still could have got him one little present.

Snow

It snowed in Lancaster last week. It was the first time Jack has seen snow and the first time I have lived somewhere where snow and cold is a regular part of winter. I think we were the only dorks who went out for a walk in the snow with a camera in tow. We bundled Jack up in warm PJs, a knit hat, a fleece bunting, a warn blanket, and the stroller cover. (In our defense, it was only 22 degrees.) He actually stayed awake for most of the walk although I'm not sure how much he could see through the plastic stroller cover. When we got home we thawed out with a cup of tea and watched the snow fall for the rest of the evening.

Ramblin' Man

We took Jack to San Diego for his first Thanksgiving. That means we had to fly with a 3 month old. We were prepared for the worst as were the passangers around us when they saw the little guy, but he was a pro. He nursed during takeoff, once in the air, and again during landing and slept the rest of the time. When we got into San Diego he was wide awake and ready to play with his grandparents, which is more than I can say for the two of us.

In San Diego Jack got to meet the bulk of my family. He met his great Uncle Art and Aunt Melissa, Great Aunt Nonnie, Cousin Bitter and her daughter Malloy, Uncle Mac, and his three Great Grandparents, Gamom and Papa, and Grams. He was also introduced to friends at a special tea in his honor. He was on his best behavior for the most part during all the meetings and festivities. He tackled the time change, mostly by refusing to nap during the day and collapsing by about 5 in the afternoon. (This meant we were awakened at 3:30 or so every night but it was hard to hold it against him.) On Thanksgiving proper he was awake and plesant during the pre-meal socializing where he was passsed around between the Greats, then he fell asleep as dinner was being served allowing me to enjoy a delicious meal and a few glasses of a delicious wine (a sparkling Pinot from Argyle, thanks Dad)!

My parents and brother were especially ga-ga about having the boy around. G'pa proudly walked him through town at every opportunity, often 2 or 3 times a day, and took pictures of every moment. Uncle Wolphie had a special nack for flying Jack around the house that kept them both entertained for long stretches. Mimi was ever vigilant, looking for any opportunity to wrap Jack in another blanket or put on a sweater - she earned a new nickname, The Bundler.

The trip home went smoothly. Again Jack seemed quite at home in the air, sleeping between feedings and only requiring one easy diaper change. He slept on the drive back to Lancaster from Baltimore, starting to cry just as we pulled up at the house. As he never really made it onto Pacific time, the time change coming home was no problem.

Jack's first big trip was a resounding success. He loved seeing his grandparents again and meeting new friends and family. Next year he is looking forward to tasting the turkey for himself!

Things They Didn't Tell You, or That You Were too Tired to Hear

Breastfeeding

It is not that easy. Jack refused to eat from the left side for weeks, he would fall asleep while eating, it took awhile for him to figure out how to latch on, etc.

• It hurts! One evening Dan was using the Soothie pacifier and exclaimed, "Boy, this kid really sucks!" I believe my exact response was, "Ya think?!" while rolling my eyes and clutching ice packs to my chest. (the pain has stopped for now, but he should start teething in a few months . . . )
• It's boring. At first, the feedings took an hour or more. There were many 3am feedings during which I fell fast asleep while he ate only to wake up half an hour later to find him still going. He's down to 20-30 minute feedings now, just enough time to catch up on our recorded episodes of The Daily Show or Barefoot Contessa. But really, you are kind of pinned there without even a free hand - not much you can do, and it happens every 3 hours.

Miscellaneous

• You will be sore for quite awhile after giving birth, and if you are breastfeeding all you can do about it is take 2 Advil every 4 hours and hope for the best. Good Luck!
• Not all diapers are created equal. We started with Huggies - not a bottom tier brand by any stretch - and found ourselves going through not only 10 or more diapers a day but at least 3 outfits due to major leakage. We're on to Pampers brand now and except for a few occasional blowouts, due to sheer quantity and shoddy diapering, we are happy with the results.
• If your hair got thicker during pregnancy it is going to fall out after the kid is born. I am currently dropping my locks by the handful and hoping that it stops or even slows before I have less hair than Jack does.
• It will take you at least a half an hour to leave the house and another 15 minutes to get in the car, and even with all that time you will have forgotten the one thing you really need.
• You could scale Everest with less gear than it takes to go down the block for a 15 minute pediatrician's appointment.
• Baby stuff will take over absolutely every room of your house. The bedroom - baby blankets for when he hangs out in bed with us, burp rags because you never know when you might need one. The kitchen - various bottles and pumping equiptment, bouncy chair, pacifiers. The dining room - makeshift changing station, swing, blankets, stroller storage. The living room - activity mat, blankets, sling, nursing pillow, books, toys. The bathroom - q-tips and cotton balls, baby lotion, nursing pads.

Movin' On Up

We have moved Jack out of the little crib at the foot of our bed and into the big crib in his own room. I thought it would be such a liberating moment for us, we'd get our room and some privacy back. So I was surprised the first night when I realized that I missed hearing the little noises coming from the foot of the bed. Don't get me wrong, I slept better than I have in months, but I still felt like something was missing. I'm over that now and am enjoying a quieter room but I still haven't been able to bring myself to take the little crib down to the basement, just in case.

Jack - O - Lantern

It has been a big week for Jack. On Tuesday he had his 2 month doctor visit which included his first immunizations. He had 3 shots in his thighs. The nurse was incredibly fast, she was finishing with the 3rd shot by the time Jack realized he had had the first. Dan came with us to this appointment which was a big help to me. I have to admit it was difficult for me to see my sweet boy being jabbed by needles, I actually teared up a little bit but managed to pull it together by the time it was all finished. The rest of the appointment went well. Jack continues to grow like a weed. He now weighs almost 14 pounds and is over 24 1/2 inches tall. The doc said that he is a very healthy little boy!

Wednesday was Jack's first Halloween. We celebrated by taking a lovely walk in the morning - Fall has finally hit Lancaster, the leaves have turned brilliant colors and the air is crisp and cool. He took a nice long nap during the day so he was well rested for the evening. We made dinner and watched an old horror movie while waiting for the trick-or-treaters. We didn't get as many as I was hoping for, but there were a few groups of cuties. Jack and Otis were both pretty agitated by all the knocking and doorbells but they both managed to pull through and enjoy the evening.

Miracles

In a world where fire ravages entire cities, Pennsylvania experiences the hottest October on record, and Joe Torre leaves the Yankees I still believe in miracles as I participated in one last night. Jack went to bed at 10pm, made a bit of noise but didn't wake up at 3am, and at 6am I checked to be sure he was still alive and breathing. He slept through the night. If it was possible to reward or praise him in some way I would but it is just about impossible to do more for him that we are doing. So instead I will sing his praises here, remind myself that this was most likely a fluke occurrence, and cross my fingers as we head for bed tonight.

Meet the Grandparents

The Washburns came for a visit last week. It was their first chance to meet Jack in person and I think he won them over. We took several day trips around Lancaster and the little man behaved like an angel. First, we drove around Amish country stopping along the way for hand-dipped candles and soft pretzels. Next, we spent a day wandering around downtown - browsing the galleries, visiting Central Market, having lunch, shopping for Jack and his cousin Addison. Again, Jack was a doll - he slept happily in the Bjorn, ate his lunch with the aid of the hooter-hider, and slept some more. Finally, we took another drive through the countryside - stopping at an orchard and hitting a few of Lancaster's covered bridges. Perhaps the best was when Dan and I left Jack with Trey and Marian and went out on our first solo date in 7 weeks. It was great for Jack to spend some quality time with his grandparents, he's still talking about it! I was especially excited to have a pediatrician in the house to ask the numerous questions that I have, questions like, "Really, how much can I drink while breastfeeding?" and "Is it supposed to look like that?" It was wonderful to see Jack interacting with his grandparents. He was awake and alert more often and had a chance to connect with them in his own way. They will get a chance to do it again in January when they come back for a holiday visit. He can't wait!

A Day in the Life

6am - Jack wakes up hungry. After a bleary-eyed feeding I either hand him off to Dan who will take him downstairs and entertain him while I get another half hour of sleep, or I bring him back to bed with us and let him sleep on my chest for another hour. He has decided in the last few weeks that he takes after his dad and is a morning person so the nice morning snuggles in bed are becoming a thing of the past. Once I take Jack off Dan's hands I clean him up and get him dressed for the day. (He has gotten so big now that he no longer fits into the 0-3 month size onsies, they are too short for our tall guy!)

9am - Time for second breakfast. Hopefully I have managed to get my breakfast in by this time, but that's not always the case. Once Jack is done eating he will go down for a morning nap in his big-boy crib. Dan and I scramble to get showered and eat breakfast if that hasn't been done already. I finally get some quiet time to read the NY Times and do the crossword.

11:30am - Dan and I eat a quick lunch. After lunch, Dan heads off to class and I enjoy a few last moments of silence before the noon feeding. Jack is spending more and more time awake each day so after his lunch we usually spend an hour or so "playing" before it is time for the afternoon nap. While Jack naps I get a chance to do the exciting things I didn't get done in the morning like laundry or vacuuming.

3pm - Guess who's hungry again. Jack downs his second lunch and then is awake for the rest of the afternoon. We spend some quality time on the activity mat - he is getting better at following objects with his eyes and head and he likes to look in the mirror. He also enjoys looking at the spines of the books on the bookshelves - Dan thinks this bodes well indeed! If the weather is nice we will take a walk. At this point in the day we amp up the feedings and try to keep him awake as much as possible in preparation for the night.

5pm - Pre-dinner feeding. After I feed Jack I hand him off to Dan who is home from work at this point, and start to work on dinner. We are relying less on frozen meals and take out now and actually cook several times a week. We like to have Jack in the kitchen with us while cooking - we give him herbs and spices to smell and he likes to look at the shiny spoons and whisks.

6:30pm - We eat dinner. We have actually been able to eat dinner together lately as Jack has been more content in his bouncy chair these days. But, this is still prime fussy time so by the end of the meal we are generally taking turns putting the pacifier back in.

7pm - Dan cleans up the kitchen while Jack has his dinner. After this things can get a bit hectic. Often Jack will try to fall asleep, but we really don't want him sleeping now so we try to keep him awake - a little nuzzling with Dan's beard usually does the trick. More often though Jack will do a fine job of keeping himself, and anything within earshot awake, by fussing off and on for the next few hours. To give him some credit, the fussing is diminishing in both intensity and frequency lately - we hope this means he will be able to stay awake without fussing at this time of day soon. (We aren't holding our breaths.)

9pm - I take Jack upstairs and get him cleaned up and ready for bed then he has his dessert. When he is finished, usually around 9:30, we get ready for bed and read a bit before falling dead asleep around 10pm.

3:30am - Jack wakes up. I take him into his room and feed him. I have been known to fall asleep during this feeding but now that he is sleeping longer this is happening less frequently. It can take him awhile to fall back asleep after this feeding so we rock for a bit before heading back to bed.

6am - Jack wakes up hungry.

Apple Jack, and Other Outings

The three of us have actually managed to leave the house for reasons other than doctors appointments lately. The first outing was on our anniversary. We decided to go to the Central Market and wander around downtown a bit so we packed up Jack and headed out - not an easy feat as we had to feed and change Jack, pack the diaper bag, load Jack into the carseat, grab the market basket, and then get all of us into the car. Somehow we managed it all and had a great time, but even better Jack behaved beautifully by which I mean he slept in the front carrier the whole time despite having a rather full and stinky diaper. The next big outing was to an apple orchard. The weather briefuly turned fall-like here with mild temperatures, cool breezes, and big fluffy clouds in a perfect blue sky. So, we again packed up Jack and headed into the amazingly beautiful Lancaster farmland. We found an orchard that had numerous varieties of apples and a u-pick option. It was a perfect afternoon. Once again Jack was great - slept in his carrier the whole time. We picked 20 pounds of delicious apples which are now hanging out in the basement waiting for Dan to turn them into one of his signature apple pies. Jack has been with us for 5 weeks now and our two big outings, as well as a few smaller ones, have not only been successful but have helped us build our confidence. We are actually looking forward to going out with Jack more now and exploring the world with him.

Diaper Dilemas

We had the best of intentions. A baby uses approximately 10,000 diapers which seems like an environmental disaster when using paper. So Jack began his days sporting cloth diapers, thanks to the generousity of my Dad who gave us 6 weeks of a diaper service. (To be fair, cloth are also a bit rough on the environment when you consider the water needed to soak, rinse, wash, and rinse all those diapers - not that I'm trying to justify anything.) But little Jack is a sensitive fellow. As soon as he gets wet he gets mad, which means crying, and this boy gets wet A LOT! It is not unusual to go through 5 diapers in less than 10 minutes. He will wake himself up out of a deep sleep because his diaper gets wet and then not go back to sleep and instead fuss for an hour. We had been using paper diapers at night to keep things easy - at one 3am change Dan finished putting on the diaper only to look down and realize that the clean diaper was still sitting on the changing table, he had put the dirty one back on. We also use paper when we go out so it is easier to throw or pack out the dirty ones. So, given that we use paper half the time and when we do use cloth we not only go through countless changes, but the level of fussiness in the house is increased we have decided to drop the cloth and make the move to paper. We don't feel great about it environmentally speaking, but the instances of crying in the house have decreased which feels wonderful. And if the guilt gets bad enough we can always buy some carbon offsets.

Give me 30cc of Turkey Hill, STAT!

"Your malnourished child is trying to claw his eyes out," the peditritian said. Okay, that's not exactally what she said but it is what my sleep deprived new mom brain heard. Jack hasn't been gaining weight as quickly as they would like. At 2 weeks he weighs 9 pounds 11 ounces, still not back up to birth weight. Also, in his fussiness he has scratched his eyes with his sharp little fingernails. I've tried cutting them but am totally chicken. We also tried to file them, but they are paper thin so that didn't work. Now he has scratches on both of his eyes. The doctor gives us a perscription for eye ointment and refers me to a lactation consultant. Dan picks up the RX and we spend the next 5 days, 3 times a day, prying open Jack's eyes while he squirms and cries and smearing the lower lid with ointment - it's amazing he doesn't lose an eye completely. I meet with the lactation consultant the next day. (To throw in a little local color, I park my Ford Explorer a few spaces away from a horse and buggy.) After watching me feed Jack she determines that he is feeding great but may not be getting enough so she sends me home with a digital scale and instructions to weight him before and after every feeding for the next several days. She also thinks that my milk may not have enough fat in it and tells me to get more fat into my diet. I go home, serve myself a bowl of Turkey Hill (a local dairy that makes yummy ice cream and iced teas) chocolate covered pretzel ice cream and prepare to feed Jack. The new routine of weighing extends his already long feeding sessions, they now take an hour or more and as he has decided to eat every 2 hours I am lucky to have 30 minutes to feed myself or use the bathroom before he is ready to go again. After 5 days all the fuss pays off, Jack is up to 10 pounds. I am given permission to stop weighing with every feeding and just weigh him every few days now to be sure he is still gaining. As of yesterday he was up to 10 pounds 10 ounces. I'm now worried that the doc will tell me he is gaining too much weight! I'm trying to justify for myself the 2 servings of Turkey Hill a day. I tell myself that I'm doing it for Jack.

Saint Molly

Mom arrived August 26, two days before Jack, and left 10 days later. While she was here she cleaned, cooked, ran errands, changed diapers, helped with feedings, and snuggled with Jack. She went with us to the hospital and spent some quality time knitting and waiting. She tried to find out what was going on behind the triage doors but, thanks to HIPPA regulations, registration lady was unable to tell her anything. Finally, registration lady showed her human side and said, "You didn't hear this from me but you may want to go to room 68 to see your grandchild." When we got home from the hospital, Mom snapped into action. She arranged for a house keeper to clean the house which was covered in a think layer of dog hair at this point. She cooked us dinner, complete with a little something green. She swept into the room at 5:00am with a smile on her face and took Jack downstairs to snuggle while Dan and I slept for another hour or so. She devised an unusual and successful method to deal with my breastfeeding woes that involved a plastic syringe, 3 pairs of hands, and copious pumping. When Dan drove her to the train station I sat at home nursing Jack and sobbing. I missed my Mommy already.

Hello, Baby Hello

August 28, 2007

The doctors tell me that only 3% of babies are born on their due dates so already Jack is an unusual boy. I had my first contraction at 7:30am, by 8:00 they were only 4 minutes apart. Luckily I had a doctors appointment today anyway so we went in early. At 9:00 I was 1cm dilated and walked from the doctors office down the hall to the hospital. The woman at the check in desk was rather dismissive, when my Mom said she was going to call my Dad to let him know that he was going to be a Grandpa, registration lady sneered at her and said, "I wouldn't be so sure." I was taken back to the triage area and hooked up to a few monitors. Dan and I tried our best to do the breathing we had worked on, but by this point the contractions were pretty painful and frequent so our carefully choreographed pyramid breathing devolved into random panting and hand squeezing. The nurse told me I could walk around the halls for an hour or so but as I can barely stand at this point so I opt for the shower. I stand in the beige shower stall while Dan holds the hand-held shower head against my back and I contemplate pulling the emergency cord for the hundredth time. After half an hour or so the pain has gotten so intense that I feel like I'm blacking out between contractions and the urge to push is overwhelming. Dan stumbles into the hall looking for help where he encounters registration lady. She assures him that the monitors will let us know when it is time to push. Dan informs her that as I am in the shower, there are no monitors and she scampers off to find a nurse. Twenty minutes later the nurse ushers me back to a room, hooks me up to the monitors and tells me, "The midwife Clare is here would you like her to check you?" Hell yes we would like her to check me! She does and I have dilated to 8cm. Suddenly I'm being strapped to the bed and wheeled to the triage operating room where they begin the process of checking me into the hospital - that's right, I'm not even officially registered yet. As I am no longer capable of speech, except to occasionally proclaim, "I want an epidural," Dan answers their questions for me while the nurses start an IV. Then I'm being wheeled down hallways to the delivery room. There has not been time to administer an epidural, or any type of pain medication. I start to push. Strangely, the pushing is less painful than the contractions that got me this far. Dan stands beside me holding my hand and turning slightly pale. In 15 minutes, at 12:55 pm, Jack is born. He weighs 10 pounds 2 ounces. All told, labor took just under 6 hours. We spend the next 2 hours in the delivery room, Dan holding Jack and looking dazed and concerned, me being "repaired" and pummeled by the nurse and midwife. This may be the most painful part of the entire experience and I have to ask them to stop several times. Finally I'm moved to the maternity ward, Jack is taken to the nursery where he will stay for the next few hours. I'm unbelievably hungry, the nurses bring me cranberry juice and peanut butter crackers - by far the most delicious cranberry juice I have ever tasted. Too wired to sleep, I hang out with Dan and my Mom and Jack once he is brought back to us in the room. Dan will stay with me tonight but then has to teach his first class tomorrow. By the time we fall asleep at 9:00 it has been the longest and most surreal day of my life. Jack, my son, is here.