Musings on Milestones

I have been thinking about the importance of baby milestones lately. As a new mom I am constantly on the lookout for signs that Jack has crossed the next developmental hurdle. I pour over the sections in the books describing what he should be doing this month and what it might mean if he hasn't. Parents smugly celebrate milestones reached early and proclaim genius and lament, but ultimately dismiss milestones missed as not that important, "Einstein didn't walk/talk/laugh/ until he was three so I'm not that worried." I was somewhat devastated when Jack's grandpa Trey (Oompa), a pediatrician, watched Jack rolling over like a champ and proclaimed, "Really, rolling over doesn't mean anything but it is great that he's doing it." So why do I, and I assume other first time parents, fixate on these milestones?

Part of it for me has to do with the constant state of worry that I live in as a new parent. I am always fretting that despite that fact that Jack seems like a normal healthy little boy, there is something lurking under the surface. And because he can't tell me that really he's fine and because I've never done this before so have no idea how he compares to other babies, every milestone becomes a tiny affirmation. He rolled over, we are doing this right, really he's fine.

The other part has to do with the fact that for the most part parenting an infant can be a boring and thankless job. I spend the better part of each day looking at, cleaning up, or being covered in various bodily functions. I dangle the same toys, read the same books, make the same faces, and mostly get the same reactions. When something new pops up it is an exciting addition to the routine. I have never worked as hard or felt so rewarded as I did looking for that first laugh. I made every funny face I could think of, tickled, poked, and babbled myself horse for weeks with plenty of cute smiles as thanks, but I had already seen the smile what I wanted was the laugh. We finally got there, and right on time according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. It still takes a bit of coaxing to get a real good laugh so it isn't too routine yet.

So, even though I know that checking off each milestone at the right time is ultimately not that important nor does it imply anything about Jack's future I still look forward with bated breath to each one. Oompa told us that the next truly important milestone would be the development of the pincer grasp. I spend a lot of the day watching Jack's fingers, waiting for that next big milestone, waiting for the reassurance that he's doing fine and looking for something new to add to our days together.

The Boys

The relationship was rather one sided at first. Otis was fascinated by Jack, couldn't get enough of him in fact, but the feeling was not mutual. Jack didn't know that Otis existed. It continued on that way for a few months. Otis would sniff at Jack and give him the occasional lick but Otis' presence didn't register with Jack except as maybe a large wet tongue. In the past few weeks things have begun to change. Jack began to notice Otis more, watching him walk across the room or listening to the jingle of his collar. When Jack was on the floor and he saw Otis he would smile. Then, as Jack has begun to become more coordinated he decided what he really wanted to do was touch Otis. Now whenever Jack sees Otis he reaches out. He has sucked on Otis' ear, pinched his leg, grabbed handfuls of fur, and tried to snuggle Otis. The relationship is still one sided. Otis doesn't want much to do with Jack at this point, the touching is taking some getting used to.